Dear anyone who is struggling with old habits:
Supporting you with lots of love here, I understand how hard it feels to quit old habits like smoking , eating disorder, drinking problem…..
And when all your friends and family members they seems never really understand your real struggle and try to recommend you some kind of methods that never really help because they never experience the same problem… …
Over past decades I suffered with different bad habits, the longest one last for more than 20 years
I believe if you are truly ready, you will always be able to break your old habits.
I suffered from this old habit since I was 9 years old. I still remember that first day when I was hanging on my bed, my head was upside down and I started to pull my first hair…
Over 20 years I struggled with this hair-pulling disorder through every exams, every stress out moment. I even tried some methods that my friends/ my family suggested but they are not really helpful a lists like squeezing a soft ball ,pulling doll hair…, I even prayed for not pulling hair.
Until last year one day I am ready get help.
I did some online research and its called :
Trichotillomania, a mental disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.
I went through different clinic websites that tell you doing a list of things that suggested getting supported , exercise , meditation doesn’t seem to work as a practical plan,
Until I visited one personal blog that the writer is also struggling with the same problem, I simply followed some of her ways that proof working . Today I am proud to announced that I successfully healed from this mental disorder, I wanted to share with you the exact Pathways that would work.
Most of the bad habits are related to mental disorder, if this is a mental problem, you need to treat it mentally. And in the past you are not so sure about if you can do it successfully. I have tried a lots of different methods until I found the below pathways works.
1. Identify the triggers (must do)
You must be able to identify this 3Ws : When ,Where, How , the more clear the better the results.
When do you usually do this?
Where is the spot that you do this the most? ( It could be on the bed, Bathroom…)
How do you usually do it?Picture yourself: which hand ? Which fingers you are performing it? what are the gesture you are. How did you hold that glass of wine? How did you hold that cigarette ? How did you pull off the hair?
2. Look into the mirror with a deep visualisation and remember it (must)
Spend a good amount of time facing the mirror until you have this clarity, visualise your new appearance 1 year from now after quitting the habit as a complete healthy person.
How will you look like when you don’t have this habit? How will your hair look like? How will your skin tone like? How will your teeth look like?
Every time you want to pull hair, recall your healthy beautiful appearance …
This is the most effective step among all , every time I have an urge to fall back into the action.
3. Rewrite the habit by creating a real pain / trouble for completing the habit once the first time. ( not a must but also pretty effective right after your visualisation )
The reason that makes it so hard to quit is some kind of pleasure is formed within the habit. However if you realise that habit actually cos you pain or inconvenient instantly. That can rewrite the way you think about that habit.
Lets say you have a hair-pulling disorder, you could put extra lotion on your hand and then try to pull your hair.
I still remembered I had 1-2 year of smoking habit but I was blessed at that time that I developed ear allergy problem related to smoking, every afternoon I wanted to scratch my ears off so badly and later on I search on internet and notice this itchness related to smoking, so very quickly I could quit smoking without much effort because smoking causes real pain instantly.
If you have a drinking habit try adding tones of salt in a super diluted alcohol aiming at making it so disgusting salty to rewire your brain that alcohol tastes disgusting.
4. Draw a monthly Calendar on 1 single piece of paper on the spot that triggers your habit . ( must)
Every time you want to do this again you will see the calendar right next to it reminding yourself. You put a star when the day you did’t do it. By the end of calendar reward yourself with something. Do it at least 2 rounds of the paper ( which costs at most two months.
5. Build a new good habit that gives you a sense of relaxation. ( not a must but its helpful for a new form of pleasure in general )
It could be a form of exercise. Like Running, Cycling, jogging, Boxing… Any type of exercise that you could build up the habits. Through these exercises you achieve a prolonged relaxation in a long term. Like any kind of Good/ or bad habits ,to develop it , you start from small.
Make it easily achievable in the beginning. Take running as an example
I was starting from 5mph ( which is a super slow speed fo Jogging), you will be able to set up a progress through weeks and months.